Children vary at the age and speed in which they achieve bladder and bowel control.

This article aims to give you a variety of strategies that are both easy to read and practical. What do parents need to know about potty training? 

Despite a generally more relaxed approach today to toilet training, many parents still feel under pressure from family and friends. You find out from your grandmother that your aunt was fully potty trained at one… ONE!!!! That is crazy!! As parents we often remember things differently as the years go by; have a sense of humor when listening to others stories and advice. A sense of humor is compulsory when potty training!!

What are some signs that my child is ready?

Most parents try potty training anywhere from 18-months old through to three years of age. There is no standard "right" time for all children, you as the parent will need to gauge when the time is right. Toilet training is a special developmental challenge early in childhood. There is usually no hurry or benefit to early potty training. It is best to try and wait until the child is ready. Do not start potty training until both you and your child are ready. You are ready when you are able to commit the time and energy necessary to encourage your child on a daily basis to be happy and supported while toilet training. Summer is a great time to potty train as it allows your child the opportunity to wear minimal clothing and the pressure of "accidents" isn’t an issue when they are spending a lot of time outside.

Your child may show some of the following signs of readiness

 

• An interest in wearing underpants instead of diapers 
• They may signal that the diaper is wet or soiled or they may ask to use the potty
• The ability to stay dry for several hours at a stretch
• An interest in being clean and dry
• Show signs of independence like wanting to dress and feed oneself
• Able to understand simple instructions

Tips for making potty training easier

Remember that you are dealing with a toddler or preschooler who likes to believe that they are in control of the situation. It is better to allow your child to have some choices. Parents generally have better success when they are not forcing potty training.

The following are some tips for easing the stress of toilet training:

• Let your child be involved in choosing some of the potty training equipment e.g. new underwear, potty seat, potty, reward chart
• Decide if you are going to initially use a potty chair and then an over-the-toilet seat with a stool. Some parents choose to not use a potty, the choice is individual and you may need to be flexible
• Decide when your son is going to experiment with standing up to urinate (be warned, it can be messy!)
• Allow your child to see what toileting looks like, let them flush the toilet, talk about why big people use toilets
• Ensure that everyone who cares for your child is involved in the decision to commit to potty training e.g. daycare, sitters, family members, as a consistent approach is vital. Once you are confident that your support network is ready, make the decision, choose the day and stick with it!! It is important to continue with toilet training regardless of your child’s schedule e.g. birthday parties, visiting friends. It will require more time and energy on your part, but stopping and starting can send mixed messages to your child
• If you feel you have prematurely started toilet training and your child simply isn’t ready, then stop and try again later

Getting started

• Let your child experiment with sitting on the potty with pants/diapers on and off 
• Encourage your child to watch parents or siblings use the bathroom
• Never force a child to sit on the potty or toilet
• Assist your child in undressing and sitting on the potty or toilet
• Let your child sit for as long or as little as they want to
• Ensure you have LOTS OF underwear and loose, easy to remove pants. When leaving the house, be prepared for the worst!
• Begin by putting your child on the toilet or potty at regular intervals. Most children urinate within an hour after having a large drink
• Stay with your child when they are using the toilet or potty. Smile, read or talk as it may help them to relax
• When they successfully use the toilet/potty, praise them and celebrate!! You may use a reward chart, have a small party to celebrate, or phone a family member and tell them the great news!! Show your child you are so proud of his success!

It may take up to 3 months to toilet train your child. It is important for you to be patient and supportive throughout. Do not punish your child when he or she has an accident.  A lot of children are able to become dry during the day but take months or years to be consistently dry at night.

Expect accidents…

Potty training generally takes several weeks or more for the child who is ready. If it is taking longer, maybe your child isn't yet ready, and you should try again in a few weeks. Even for the child who is making progress, there will be plenty of accidents. Be prepared to accept them with patience and to appreciate that this is just part of normal potty training. Make sure you reward your child with praise and congratulations when he or she uses the potty, and be sympathetic when there are mistakes. Children who are punished for toileting mistakes may end up becoming more resistant to using the toilet altogether. Praise success, but do not criticize failure and GOOD LUCK!

Parent tips

Maria and Andrew: parents of three children aged 4, 6 and 8
‘I found potty training with my eldest daughter to be extremely easy. She was dry both day and night after three days. I was so proud of her (and myself!). Unfortunately my two sons have been a totally different experience. I did the same process with my boys; my middle son would urinate in the toilet/potty but wanted a diaper on to poop… so frustrating. The refusals continued for a year! My youngest took a while, we tried potty training at two, then stopped and waited and he finally had dry days at three and a half years.’ 

Lisa and Mark: parents of two sons aged 7 and 5
‘Toilet training was difficult with both our sons, they took a long time to get out of diapers, I made lots of excuses – waiting for summer, waiting until I had stopped breastfeeding my youngest. I think I was hoping it would happen on it’s own BUT IT DIDN’T!  My seven year old still wets the bed at night occasionally, we wake him and make him go to the toilet when we go to bed but he still has wet nights. We eventually had success with our youngest child when we bought him some dinosaur underwear…’ 

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