Motivate

It is important to understand and identify your childʼs learning style. Through a simple assessment test you will be able to discover whether your child is a visual, auditory (through hearing and listening) or kinesthetic (through doing and moving) learner. When you understand what kind of learner your child is, you will be able to connect more effectively and efficiently.

By understanding your childʼs learning style, you will gain a greater awareness of how the information they learn is best received. Knowing the way in which your child learns, you are able to approach them using strategies that incorporate their individual learning style. Whether teaching in the classroom, working with parents or raising my own children, I have always incorporated this type of learning survey to aid the children in meeting their individual goals.

Another way in which we can help to Motivate our children and our family is to determine what our familyʼs interests are. When you understand what fascinates your children you will gain entry to their inside track. This invaluable connection will give you an opportunity to see what might peak their interests as far as learning.

For example: Your child comes home with their first homework assignment. They turn to you and say, I donʼt want to do this! Iʼm tired, Iʼm hungry or I want to play. Your child might even say itʼs to hard or I canʼt do it. It is very important for young children to feel confident academically. They need to be motivated and inspired to take risks. Now think about your child. Think about who they are and what they are interested in. It is extremely age appropriate for your children to change their interests frequently. If your child enjoys sports explain that you are going to play a fantastic game. For every two questions that you have answered correctly, you are able to toss the ball and say the name of one of your favorite basketball (substitute the sport that they are interested in) players. If its music, dance, chess or any other activity that you can think of, create a game with this example in mind. For chess it might be moving one of your game pieces. The fact is, once we shift the focus and motivate our children, the homework component will become less intimidating. Of course this is not going to be a life long strategy. However, it will allow your child to alleviate their fears and anxieties of their inevitable firsts.

Organize

Another important characteristic of successful children and people is organization. Lack of organization is very often a source of stress for both parents and children.To organize by definition means to arrange into a structured whole or to coordinate the activities of a person or group efficiently.

What is one of the greatest challenges that both parents and children are faced with in society today? The answer is: Lack of time. By identifying your organizational needs and managing your time effectively both you and your family will become more productive. By filling out a weekly schedule together, your family owns their routine. In this way you are organizing your time.

A calendar that your family participates in is a great way for them to connect with and own their individual activities and responsibilities. They also learn that they are not the only ones in the household with an agenda, and will hopefully gain a little more patience, flexibility and appreciation for the juggling act that we parents do on a daily basis.Remember, no child arrives at school and says to themselves, I want to fail today.” There are reasons behind their successes and failures. Some simple organizational strategies will have an impact on their ability to be successful. Here are some simple ideas:

• Backpacks -  Everything should consistently be placed in size order for quick and easy viewing. All pencils, pens, erasers , etc., should have their own space. Always keep a “just in case”, nonperishable snack in your childʼs
• Desks - Make sure that their desks are free of clutter and that they have everything that they may need at their fingertips. Some examples are: pens, scissors, scrap paper, a dictionary, a thesaurus, erasers, tape, crayons or markers and highlighters. These items can be arranged in a container or you can appoint appropriate areas for these items in the desk drawers.
• Morning and Evening Routines - These should be predictable situations. As far as morning routines go, children need to know in advance what is expected of them. Backpacks should be prepared the night before and placed in a spot determined by both you and your child for easy access in the morning. For some children a checklist is helpful. It can either be written or pictorial so that you donʼt feel that you are constantly repeating what each child needs to do to leave the house and get off to school.

Redefine

To redefine consider thinking about what you can do differently. What are our childrenʼs expectations for themselves and what are our expectations for our families this year? By creating a list of goals that all family members contribute to, you will have the advantage of staying on track and meeting those goals. Your children will in turn gain a true sense of ownership over the information that they shared.

Examples of family goals could be eating a family meal together 5 nights a week or or having a screen free weekend a month. Even the child that is unable to write effectively can participate. They can create a pictorial submission, and verbally explain their drawing. Another family member may choose to write their words.  These priceless memories will be cherished for decades. As individuals, we all have the unique ability to try new things, to take chances, and to walk outside of the lines. So then why is it that so many of us donʼt?

Empower

How can we inspire and empower our children to achieve their goal and think outside of the box?

To empower, simply put, is the ability to give somebody the power to do something; anything. It is important to encourage your children to try to participate in new activities. Some of those activities may be frightening but we need to encourage them to try, nonetheless.

Very often young children are invited to a myriad of birthday parties and some moms find themselves making all kinds of excuses why their children canʼt make it. Some children (especially if shy) experience tremendous anxiety when it comes to attending birthday parties. Empowering your child to attend theses celebrations is a great gift to bestow upon them. Of course it will take having a bag of tricks at your disposal to help them through this challenge. I recommend that you prepare them to handle this situation by setting the stage. Highlight the theme of the party by showing them the invitation. Ask questions like, “what type of party do you think this is”, “which of your friends do you think will be there”, and “what do you think will be the best part”? Developing a dialogue and allowing your children to express their thoughts and ideas is a life lesson that will have endless benefits for them as they grow.

Next, ask your child to create a written or pictorial list of activities that they believe will be at the party. To be prepared to handle the anxiety producing situation, we must make sure that we give them the power to succeed. Therefore, I highly recommend that you simply reduce their writings or drawings so that your child can easily fit the pictures or words into their pockets. This will now turn in to a useful, meaningful and inspirational transitional object. By having their ideas at their disposal, they will be empowered to rise to this challenge and reflect on their writings.

This method can work for many situations that your child my feel anxious about - e.g. a visit to the doctor or dentist, starting a new school year, going to camp.

Engaging your children in these two simple activities before a party will generate enthusiasm and lessen their anxiety. Initially, an anxious child will continue to be anxious until they make it over the hurdle to allow themselves to have a good time. An important concept that we must remember is that we give the tools and model the behaviors for our children. It may often seem as though they are uninterested. However, they do look to you, their parents, for guidance. By modeling the behaviors and using these tools, you are affording your children the ability to access their critical thinking skills.

By owning this experience, your child has taken the necessary steps to overcome their fears. They now are able to determine that they have control over making this experience a positive one. Life has so many challenges, and if we help our children get over their fears, they will be ready to face what comes their way.

Hope you find these ideas helpful. What works in your family?

Next: Communication skills for parents of little kids

By Elyse Goldstein - Elyse has worked as an educator for more than 20 years. She is the founder of Parenting Moves U, and has been credited with creating numerous innovative and interactive programs and workshops for parents, children and organizations. Elyse most recently launched “Sandwiches and Strategies™” seminars : “ House Calls” for Working Moms. She holds degrees in both Communications and Education. Elyse is the married mother of 5 children ranging in age from15 down to 15 months. You can learn more about Elyse Goldstein and Parenting Moves U at parentingmovesu.com